Changes to be made

When the way I drove to work, there were a lot of questions floating in my mind. Part of the reason is because I attended two conference/training this month.

The training at Bukit Tinggi emphasized that we have to accept change. The conference yesterday said that we have to plan, set target, and change.

I do agree with yesterday speakers. What kind of signal you sent you, what kind of result you receive. And what I want?
1) My Family
I treat my family nicely, I cut 90% of my temper. Now, I feel better, and easier to communicate with them. I do not think that I scarify to my family anymore, I found the fun of my "scarify". I want to keep myself happy, not to let my family worry about me. I want to be able to share my happiness with them all time.
2) My Colleagues
I try to treat them like friends. And I think I am giving 80% to myself, because I still cannot handle a couple of them. Sometimes, I need to be firm with my decision too. However, I want to be more professional, I have to keep a distance with them.
3) My friends
Yes. I think I mostly get alcoholics friends. So no issue. Well, I always treat my friends nicely, if I think s/he worth it. I will not forget them or leave them. Hope that they will treat me the same. I want to make sure I do keep in touch with them.
4) My lover?
I treated him 100% nice all time. But...I don't have one now. I think I'll treat him 80% nice for my future bf. Why? Then, he can appreciate what I have done to him. For love, it's not 100% you give, you will receive 100%.
I think I have a big issue here. The kind of lover I attracted to, is actually reflected how I portrait myself. I thought so, so I changed from LA LA LOOK to now more matured look. And yet, with this matured look, I attracted married uncles. And friend told me that I look like the best affair partner. OMG!!! Do I? I always looking forward to be legal wife. I am preparing to be good wife. I am caring, lovely, humour, good in cooking, honest (I won't lie to him, because I can't lie. Everyone can tell if I lie), trying to be environmental friendly, sporty, and independent (of course 50% will do). I am ready to be LEGAL WIFE! NOT AFFAIR PARTNER.

I do not mind he is a single uncle, but not too old. I just want to make sure that his residual years of life is not too short. I am not looking forward to receive his property and assets from his will shortly within a couple of years. Of course, I will not reject it, if I have to. I am looking for more spiritual type. I wish to have respect from him to me, and my family. I promise I will do the same. Secondly, freedom! There should be room for both parties. Thirdly, plan, and personal growth. He has to plan our future together, and grow himself personally, and his career. I do not agree if he would like to stay at his comfort zone. There is always rooms to grow. I am prepared to take the risk together, of course please talk to me, let us measure the risk together. I will learn with him.

I do believe also we have to kept changing ourself to make ourself more compatible. It has to be from in-to-out. You can't stop changing. You should change from fashion, look, update your knowledge. You can do it from read more books, further study, make more friends, wider your network, travel more, attend training (I only like technical training) and please share if you have other methods.

Please also accept changes. If you do not ready for changes, you might be depress and have mental problem. It's just like who Desmond met last weekend. A girl scolded him at a coffee shop, while he meeting his friend. The girl treated Des as her ex-bf, who left her after his study. Please, if she can accept the change of his ex-bf, move on. Go to find another better guy, this guy not worth for her to love him, and not worth for her to lose herself, to be insane.